Bloody Relief

There is some sort of relief
in creating pain out of nothing
just so it can be louder than the original
and even though it kills
I drag my pencil across the paper
like a reluctant knife across a wrist
A pirouette of pain then a bow of relief  
And I form words out of nothing
just so they can be louder than my thoughts
braver than my blood that tries to dry across the page
writing a story that thinks it's ready to be told
when I know it's just a freckling of fear
in a girl who wields a pen like a knife
And a self-destruct button for a heart.

-anna sluder

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