Dying

You tell me to live,
But is that all you have to give?
Just telling me to do something without a why?
But it's really hard to not die
Don't tell me to live
It is like telling a bitter heart to forgive
It is a lot harder than you think
It's out of my hands if my soul falls off the brink,
So don't tell me to feel better
Don't send me roses, candy, and letters
Don't you know what it takes to not live is deeper inside your soul
Than lungs, a heart, or liver that isn't whole?
So let me figure out how to not live
So I don't feel so captive
In between these wallpapered walls where I can't make a choice
Please for once, let me have a voice
And I will live hard and deep
Just let me have one shard
Of a choice for a greater motive
So I can then figure out what it means to live
Because when I'm living in choice-less pain and a living hell
Do not tell me to get well.


-anna sluder

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