Take a Little Here, A Little More There

I thinned out my soul,
simply with my fingers,
like the way you run your hands,
through your hair,
I thought my life was getting too thick,
too many people clinging on,
too many people to leave behind,
when I finally do die,
I don't want to be chained,
back to the world or back to you,
I'm too tired of goodbyes,
I simply want to live on my feet,
ready to run and go,
but maybe that is selfish,
to not want to fall in love with you,
simply because I am afraid,
God, am I afraid,
of dying and falling,
losing and breaking,
but I never even thought,
that if I refused to love you,
that that might have been the only love,
the only love you ever received,
so now you are loveless,
and I am quite heartless,
for even though I am on the run,
I always feel that lack of heart within,
press in on my sides until I am walled,
to where I can't move my hands,
toward my soul to thin it,
for when I look in the mirror,
I find that my soul is bald.


-anna sluder

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