For Now

he ties the string of the balloon
to his small unworn hand
so it doesn't float away
naively
before he gets to the bottom of the valley
sometimes it is green, sometimes it is red
his father could never choose
between his favorite two
so on a random date
that meant so much to his family
but he wasn't old enough
to put forth a memory for that day
he waits at the bottom of the valley
for the wind to pick up
and carry away the balloon
on his father's birthday
that is only a strange number to him
and when he lets go for the sixth time
he's done this since the age of four
he wonders when his mother will let him let go
of a handful of his father's ashes
instead of a handful of string and a red balloon
when'll he be old enough to spread his ashes?
to learn it won't be his father who'll be teaching him to shave?
or buying him his first suit?
but for now it will be his mother
for now it will be a red balloon.


-anna sluder



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