Hi, Nameless

Hi Nameless, 
So there was a little tube between my legs yesterday
And I don't really know what to say
But my therapist told me I should talk to you 
Even though you're thrown away, your skin cold and blue
I shouldn't have done it, I shouldn't have let you go
You had a heartbeat pulsing inside of me, just to let me know
You wanted to be kept safe and alive
Even if I couldn't see it with my own eyes
Hello Baby,
Last night was worst of all
I had this dream in which my name you called
Screaming for me as the tube shred you apart
Organs, eyes, muscles, bone until it go to your heart 
Hello child, 
We haven't talked in awhile
You might not want to know but I had another child
A brother that you won't meet for some time
But I wanted to let you know that I call you both mine 
I try to keep myself away from the blades 
When I think of how I sent my first baby to the grave
But some days are better and others are not
So child just know that I do love you a lot. 
Hello sweetheart,
I have five other children now 
But you've always been the closest one to me somehow
I've gained some years, years I wish I'd had given to you 
So please forgive me, I wish only then I knew
And get ready baby, I know you've been waiting by the phone 
Because this time I really am coming on home. 

-anna sluder

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