Anxiety

One moment I see sunshine
The next I see a blue tongue 
Lolling out of her asphyxiated throat 
Out of her hypoxic lips
Propped in her chair, yet slightly slumped 
With the weight of death and the weight of the bastard who did this
Eyes glazed over as if they were glass
Hands so stiff and cold you feel as though they might crack if you touch them
And she's pale, so pale for her dark skin 
Like a porcelain doll with her head tilted back
Arms so flat and angled on the arm rests
Like a puppet, posed and ready for performance
Except for one thing, the blue tongue 
The blue tongue that says I didn't get there in time
The blue tongue that says she died by asphyxiation, 
That she slowly so slowly gasped for breath until 
Each inhale went down from twenty breaths per minute to one
As her airways narrowed and inflamed with a wheeze 
As her lungs stretched, gripping for one more breath 
As her neck craned till the veins were pulsing blue to get out of your hands 
As her brain seized against her skull like a child trying to wriggle free
And she gagged on her own carbon dioxide 
As you watched the last drop of life drain out of her eyes
You bastard, the stranger who broke into her home 
To murder the woman who would've offered you cookies if you weren't holding a gun
But instead of making it quick and fast you sucked the entire air out of the room
Just to watch her writhe
Just to see the blue tongue 
You bastard, you killed her
And then I remember that this isn't real, nobody killed her
Until I realize, I am the woman, and anxiety is the bastard making tongues turn blue. 

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