Perception of a Victim

I bit my tongue until it bled
Then balled it up like a wad of paper
Rolling it around in my mouth like a marble I tried to choke it down
But I gagged and coughed it back up
So I stitched myself together
And formed words instead of fear
And I whispered,
"I was raped."
His eyes were cold and unforgiving
Yet impinging upon me like the rapist's hands
No, he didn't offer even empty pity or offer help
No, he didn't ask if I knew a name
No, he didn't search my mind for a time and a date
No, he didn't offer a doctor or the police
Yes, he asked me what I was wearing.
And I tried not to choke on my tongue again
Like the way I choked on the rapist's penis
When he forced it down my throat
So I raised my chin and tear streaked cheeks
Looked him in the eyes with not the dignity I had left
But the iota of hope
And I whispered,
"A turtleneck. I was wearing a turtleneck."

-anna sluder

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